I Am A Cuckold

My work sends me out of town at least once a month on sales calls, seminars, meetings, or conventions. I used look forward to the travel, because there was always something new and exciting, and it was a chance to get away. If you travel a lot, you know what I am talking about. It is fun at the beginning, but it eventually gets old.

Anyways on one trip I was sitting in the hotel watching a crappy pay per view movie when I though I would surprise my girlfriend. I missed her birthday the day before, Thursday, and since I didn’t have to be back until lunch on Monday, I found a cheap Southwest flight home. My best friend dropped me off at my apartment complex. I went upstairs to my apartment, and she wasn’t home. There were a couple of purses and some jeans on the couch. I pulled out a wallet from one of the jeans and looked for and ID. It was of some surfer looking guy whom I had never seen before. I looked in one of the purses and it belonged to her friend from work.

Things were starting to look strange, and my friend was getting a little uncomfortable so I asked him to take off. He gave me the blanket ‘call me for anything’ goodbye and left. I walked to the guest bedroom because it had a slight view to the pool. There she was having a little get together with her friends. So I hurried to change into my bathing suit to go and surprise her. When I got into the master bedroom there right in the middle of the room pointed at the bed was a video camera with a tripod. I thought to myself that was weird, and it was the last thing I expected in my bedroom. My heart started beating unbelievably fast. My stomach just felt a hollow burn, and I started to feel a little dizzy for a second. Then I hit survival mode. I tried to open up the video camera to take the tape, but I couldn’t figure out how to get it open. So, I grabbed the camera, but it was screwed into the tripod. I couldn’t get it undone fast enough, so I just pushed the tripod legs in and took the camera still attached to the tripod. I stopped and then went back and grabbed the power cord. When I bent down to get the power cord I saw the camera bag next to the dresser by the cord. I looked in the bag and there were a couple of tapes and some more wires. So, I took that too. I walked so fast until I got to the apartment Rec Room. Nobody was in there, so I used my key to get in and went to the bathroom. I got the tripod off. I couldn’t get it to go smaller even though it was obviously designed to telescope smaller, so I dropped it in the garbage. I put the camera in the bag and then called my buddy.

The tension was killing me. The suspense was unreal. I forced myself not to react. I would have more than enough time to go to pieces later. I got back to the airport, and for once it was easy to get a cheap flight back. I didn’t really care about the cost since the company card was paying for it. I have found it makes things a whole lot easier when you keep the costs down though.

I got back to my room and it was show time except I could not get the video camera to work with hotel television. I rewound the tape and then decided to watch it on the camera’s little LCD screen. I turned on the tape and there’s my girlfriend topless sitting on our bed and talking to the camera. She’s saying thing s like, “I can’t believe you. What do you want me to say? Come here.” She looked so happy. She was giggling and laughing the whole time. Then the camera started to shake a little as my girlfriend scooted to the side of the bed where I noticed she was bottomless too. The camera pointed down at her face. Then she reached out took a big cock into her hand.  She started sucking that dick.

I started sweating, shaking, and I couldn’t breath well right way. But I couldn’t stop watching it. The whole time you could hear him moaning in the camera and telling her what he liked. Baby I like it when you kiss my balls. She would take his dick out of her mouth and push it up, and then suck and kiss his balls. Baby don’t stop. It was like a cheap porn movie except this was my girlfriend of the last four years. He told her he was coming, and then she clamped down hard on his cock. You tell he was coming by his dick pulsating & twitching. He pulled his dick out, and she looked up at the camera and opened her mouth showing his cum. She started laughing and then she gagged a little and then spit it into her hand and ran out of the frame of the camera. The guy just started laughing and teasing her, then the picture stopped.

A second later it flickered back on to a new scene. This time there was no build up. This was probably when they used the tripod. It had her facing the camera with him fucking her doggie style. That was the first time I saw anything other than his dick, and I felt like someone just kicked me in the stomach. It wasn’t the surfer guy which for some reason I assumed it was. It was a skinny black guy. I don’t know why I didn’t pick up on it when she was sucking his dick. I guess it must have been the lighting. I don’t know. But you could clearly see this guy was black. I’m not racist or prejudiced or anything like that but I would never in a million years have pictured my girlfriend with a black guy. The bedroom lights were on but the video wasn’t coming out too bright on the LCD screen. You could easily make out his black skin against her white skin.

Just about the whole scene she had her face down in the mattress. He said something to her a couple of times, and she look up at the camera for a few seconds, and then she would rest her chest back down on the mattress. You could really see her working her body back against his. He had both of his black hands on her hips and was yanking her into him. Then he said something to her kind of muffled. She got up and turned to him and started to suck his dick. He grabbed her shoulder and groaned. Then he walked to the camera and shut it off.

There was nothing more on that tape. So, I grabbed one in the bag that was half way. I pressed play. Nothing. I rewound it for a few secs and then pressed play, and they were in the master bathroom with him sitting up on the sink and her bending over sucking his dick. Since the bathroom lights were really bright you could really see how black he was. You could also see that even though this guy was skinny probably around 150 lbs, he had a huge dick. She had one of her hands gripped up toward the top of it, and the other hand she had cupped around his nuts. From where he hand was holding the top part of his dick, she could easily have put her other hand on the bottom part and there would have still been a little space. She has small hands, but this guy was way above average. The thing that really floored me was how wide he was. I noticed it a little before, but in the lights you could see she could get her mouth around the head of his dick and not much more. Her mouth was stretched wide. This got me to thinking about what else was being stretched wide. I watched every tape that night. I didn’t go to sleep until I watched every minute. It was like being paralyzed in front of a TV and you can’t go anywhere.

She called my cell phone five or six times. I let it go to voicemail each time. The next day I called her cell phone. It was pure cat and mouse. She didn’t want to give out any info, but she was trying real hard to see if I knew anything about him or the camera. I played stupid, told her I loved her, and if she would pick me up from the airport the next day.

Before I left, I mailed myself the camera and tapes. I didn’t want to risk my work having to do anything with this, so I mailed it to my home address. In the attention line I put apartment manager, and I gave the apartment manager a heads-up on the box. When she picked me up, you could instantly tell it was going to be weird. I think she knew I was aware, but she didn’t want to tip her hand in case I didn’t know. So, we chitchatted about nothing all the way home. I set my duffel bag down, and went to take a shower. I knew before I got into the shower she was going to go through it, and she did. There was nothing there.

When we settled into bed, she put on some hot pink panties and a matching bra. I don’t know why, but I always liked seeing her in hot pink. She started getting close to me and kissing on me. All I could think about was that those lips kissing me were wrapped around another guy’s dick a couple of days before. Then she started to go down on me. It felt good. After a minute or two I twisted myself around under her and squeezed low so we could 69. As I started to lick her all I could picture was this big black dick pounding her little pussy. It probably looked the same, but at that time it seemed like it was more open that normal.

These images in my head were not holding me back at all. It was a mixed turn-on to imagine her with someone else while we were having sex. When we were done with 69, she got on her back for sex. I flipped her over doggie style just like in the video, and I started to pound her. She even commented on it saying something like I must have missed her. While I was doing her, I kept looking down at her ass wondering if he fucked her there. She never let me do it to her there. We finished and got ready for bed.

About five minutes after the lights went out I told her I had the camera. Big mistake. Within a half of an hour the police were at our door thanks to the neighbors. Even though I am the only one on the apartment contract and it was her that cheated, they made me leave. I slept in the car that night in the back parking lot where I work.

I took the day off, and when I got home in the morning, she had already moved out. She was completely moved out. Looking back I still respect her for not taking any of my stuff. She didn’t take one thing that wasn’t hers. She was decent that way. She moved in with Terry, Terrance as she calls him even though everyone else calls him Terry. He’s actually a nice guy if you can get over the fact he was fucking your girlfriend.

I gave the camera and tapes back after I made copies of course. I made two sets in case something happened. Then I got on with my life, but the story doesn’t end there.

She ended our relationship in a bad way. She made me talk to him, because she didn’t want to ever speak to me again. She took out an order of protection against me. And, she came to my doorstep asking me to take her back. Even though I had a new girlfriend, I did take her back. I don’t know why, but I did. We got married about three months later, and we’re still together. How’s that for a happy ending?

*** Edited & Name withheld upon request ***

I caught my wife cheating with a coworker. I found out by a single email left in the ‘trash bin’ on our computer. Even so the email was sort of cryptic. He asked her if she was tired from the night before and how she managed to go to work with almost no sleep. I was out of town when it happened. When I got home from the road trip it was around 3 am. I crawled into bed and the first thing that I noticed was how good her perfume smelled. Her legs were silky smooth, which was nice since she sometimes goes several days in between shaving. I didn’t want to wake her, but after the road trip and the way she felt, I was a little on the horny side. So I did the nudge and the told her I was home. I sensed she was awake, but she was kind of feigning tiredness. Little did I know that she had been with another man only a few hours earlier.

I was persistent, so she gave in and eventually started asking me how the trip was. After a few minutes of small talk, I started to initiate sex. She didn’t seem too enthusiastic about it, but I figured it being 4 in the morning might have something to do with that. As I was working her panties down, she stopped me and the pulled my boxers down and gave me probably the best blowjob I’ve ever had in my life. It was totally unexpected. I lay on the bed for a few minutes, and then I was ready to go again. I started in on her panties so I could return the favor and go down on her. I rubbed my face on her panties and started to pull them down biting at the crotch of the panties with my teeth. She sat up like a rocket, and then started to give me another insane bj. Normally she did bj’s maybe once a week or whenever something good happened. Two in one night was really special.

We laid there together just talking about random stuff, and she turned her back to me which meant we would spoon for a few minutes, and then I would roll over and we would go to sleep. But I was still hard and I was focused on having sex. So, I rolled her over on her back and worked her panties down. As I got them down near her ankles, she did a quick flip doggy style, put her chest on the mattress, and stuck her white ass straight up in the air. It slipped in quite easily as I recall – looking back it’s obvious why. I thought she was just turned on because she seemed a little extra horny to give me two bjs. Even being as wet as she was it still felt good and I don’t think I lasted more than two minutes.

She pulled her panties up. I put my boxers on and we crashed.

The next morning I found the email. I didn’t put it together until a few days later that she had been with someone else on the same night. I never allowed it to cross my mind. I didn’t even consider it was possible.

World War 3 broke out, and we fought for 2 weeks straight maybe longer. Eventually we got past the broken dishes, busted up drywall, and the anger and resentment. Well I wasn’t totally past the resentment, but I dealt with it. During those two weeks she kept seeing him. They would hook up at his place 3 or 4 times a week. A few nights she didn’t bother coming home. She would wear the same clothes to work 2 days in a row.

After we started talking again, she told me to take things as they were or get a divorce. She wouldn’t contest it or ask for anything. She was really lucid about the whole thing. So, I took things as they were.

During that time she never gave me sex, not once. If I bitched enough, she would give me a bj or more often than not she would get some lotion and jack me off. It was humiliating, and I tried not to want sex from her, but the whole situation being so out of control just made me want to have sex with her more than ever. You want what you can’t have I suppose.

She stopped trying to hide when she was going to see him. She’d take a long shower, do her nails if they weren’t already done, dress up in sexy underwear, lipstick, makeup, the whole nine yards. That’s another thing I should have noticed, all of the new underwear she was getting. There were a few panties and thongs I know she would never buy because she was self-conscious about it. All it took was him buying them for her to wear them. It was surreal watching her slip into skimpy black panties and matching bra knowing someone else paid for them, knowing where she was going, and knowing what she was going to do when she got there.

Each night she would come home always chewing on bubblegum to mask what I call sex breath. After a few times, she stopped taking a shower right away. I would lie on the bed next to her thinking she is sleeping beside me with this guy’s DNA all over her panties and inside of her. What’s weird is I would have this massive hard on.

I don’t know how she worked things out in her head, but over time we got more comfortable with each other. We started having sex again. Before she started sleeping with someone else, we had sex maybe two or three times a week. After the affair came out in the open, it was once or twice every month. I don’t like to think of it as mercy fucking, but when you get right down to it that’s exactly what it was. She was still sleeping with him on a regular basis.

Everything finally blew up when she got pregnant a couple of months later. She was a total wreck. She ended up quitting her job, because she would have otherwise been fired for missing too many days. We talked a lot, and I know she talked with him about it too. She was depressed. He told her she should to abort the baby, and they would try again later when they were stable and she got a divorce. I said she could do whatever she needed to do.

They broke officially broke up because of this. The day she broke up with him she went to see him, and even in her emotional state they had sex. I know this because when she came home she raced to the shower, and she came home without her panties. She would later say she has never felt as used as that day. She ended up having an abortion. I suspected she was going to do this, but she never came right out and let me know. She was out of work, depressed about the abortion, and mourning the breakup. She hit rock bottom. I can’t say I had a lot of sympathy for her. I did what I could to help her. She isolated herself from everything & everybody for a long time. Eventually we started getting closer together.

I hate to admit it, but her having an affair helped our relationship. I wouldn’t want to go through that ordeal again, and I don’t think it would work out for a majority of couples. It worked for us, or better yet, we made it work for us.

*** Title supplied by request with minor editing/proofing. ***

*** Most of the correspondence I have been getting is fantasy oriented, i.e., what guys want done to their wives/girlfriends, or what they would like see getting done to their wives/girlfriends. The intention of this site was to offer some catharsis, a release if you will, of feelings and emotions from real life events. However, since there is so much fantasy stuff, I’ll add a new Cuckold Fantasy Category and do my best to update it regularly. ***

I am a cuckold, and it’s by choice. I didn’t catch my wife of six years cheating. I didn’t walk in on anybody or find emails or anything like that. As a matter of fact I had no idea anything was going on. I was completely 100% fat, dumb and happy.
She dropped the bomb on me at our favorite restaurant which I don’t have to say I won’t even drive by the place anymore. To make things worse we both dressed up like we do for a dinner date. We ordered our food, and then she told me. She didn’t even wait for the food to be served.
She was really nervous and her voice quivered a little and she said she needed some time to herself. I was stunned. I asked her if she was kidding. She said no. I then asked her why several times after that. She kept saying she needed some time. I asked her if she was talking divorce. She said she hadn’t considered it yet. I remember the ‘yet’ really pissed me off but at the same time I was just stunned. I felt like I was outside of myself. It was like this is happening to me, and I knew it, but it kind of felt like it was happening to someone else and I was just watching. It’s hard to describe. Then I pressed her one too many times. I wanted answers.
She said to me in almost a whisper that she was seeing someone else. Stupid me asked what she meant by seeing someone. She just looked at me and didn’t answer. I asked who. She didn’t answer. I asked how long. She wouldn’t say. I asked what about the kids. I was in total panic mode. Since we were out in public I couldn’t really do anything but just take it. I remember I said it wasn’t supposed to be this way. We were supposed to grow old together. Looking back I was a total wimp. If I could go back, I’d probably have a little more dignity about it.
Then she gave the final twist of the knife. She said she would call me when I calmed down and got up and started to walk out of the restaurant. I asked her to keep talking and she didn’t even look back. I told the waitress I would be back to pay, and I remember leaving my wallet on the table to let her know I was going to pay. I didn’t care if it was there when I got back. I just needed to talk some more. When I got outside of the restaurant, I watched her get into another guy’s car. I called out to her, but they just drove away leaving me standing outside the restaurant. I immediately called her cell phone about ten times. No answer every time.
I took a few seconds to gather myself, and then I raced in and paid the bill. It was all kind of a blur from there. I picked up the kids and went home and just sat on the sofa in shock. I had no one to call. I was too embarrassed to call anyone. It wasn’t their business. So, I just sat there staring at the TV, and I don’t even know if it was on. The phone rang the next morning, and she asked if we could meet at a park. I dropped the kids off at grandma’s. I called work and took what would become the next three days off. I met her at the park. I looked everywhere and didn’t see his car or him for the matter. It was dark when I last saw them at the restaurant and the windows were tinted so I didn’t get a good look. We sat down at a bench, and the first thing I noticed was she was showered and clean and wearing a t-shirt and shorts that weren’t hers. She was barefoot, because I guess she would have looked weird in gym shorts a t-shirt and high heels.
She asked if I was ok. I told her no. I asked her who. I had to know. She said his name was Joe Cheng, and she works with him. I thought to myself and Asian guy? I asked her how long, and all she would say is long enough. I asked them if they had been having sex. She just said what do you think? I said I don’t know. I wasn’t there. You tell me. She didn’t reply at all. We talked for a little while. I decided before I got there I wasn’t going to do anything stupid. I was going to be civil. But, she wouldn’t give me any information or answer my questions. She doled out bits and pieces. After a while of spinning our wheels she said she had to go. She speed dialed a number on her cell phone and let it ring. She didn’t talk. Then she started walking towards the parking lot. I kept asking her to talk it out, and she pretty much ignored me. I reached for her arm, and she snapped back with don’t you ever touch me. I remember that like it was yesterday. She wasn’t who I knew her to be. I saw his car pull up in the parking lot. He stayed in the car. Then I got nasty. I asked her if she liked Chinese dick better. How does Asian cum taste? She just kept walking, got in the car, and drove away.
From here on out everything was on her terms. She stayed with him for the next three days into the weekend. I don’t have to tell you what your imagination does to you. Mine was running wild. She came back Sunday night and as much as I wanted to talk, she wouldn’t. We slept on the same bed with no touching. That was weird. I’d get up, go to work, pick up the kids, and come home. She would get up drop the kids off, get off work, go to his place, and then come home late. On the weekends, she would usually stay late Friday and Saturday. She’d spend the night there if she got too drunk or tired or whatever. It was like this for almost two months. I hated it, but it became a routine.
We actually went to marriage counseling pretty religiously. We went together once a week, and she went once a week on her own. The counselor told her she needed to ‘cold-turkey’ drop her boyfriend and focus on the family, specifically the kids. She would say she wouldn’t stop seeing him, and the kids were the only reason she was in marriage counseling at all.
This counselor ended up saving our marriage. She was very sterile, but you could tell she had some decency and compassion to her. Her big thing was complete honesty. A lot of psychologists preach this. They call is brutal honesty, total truthfulness, and a bunch of other catch phrases. What it means is that both people have to fully disclose everything in order to move on. Now looking back, I don’t know if it was really necessary. It was almost cruel actually. I got to ask any question I wanted related to our relationship including her outside relationship since it directly affected us. She had to answer. The same was true for me. It was easy for me, because all I didn’t really do anything wrong. For her it was beyond embarrassing. The first question I asked was had they had sex. My wife really didn’t want to answer even though the three of us already knew the answer was yes. She said yes. I asked how many times. She asked the therapist is this was really necessary. The therapist nodded and then told me not to dwell on the details. My wife never answered.
It was really weird asking these questions with another person in the room. These were questions I really wanted to know and I felt like I was going to finally learn about it all. Then the therapist said that was a good start and we should continue that discussion on our own. She then started focusing in on our kids and rebuilding trust. That was a big thing with her.
When we got home, I figured it was time for 20 Questions. She said it was too stressful and then grabbed the keys and took off. I didn’t even bother asking where she was going to. That night when she came back, she said we could talk. We stayed up all night. We both had to call in sick because we were so tired. She said she would answer all of my questions except she wanted the lights off, and if I got mad or upset, she would stop right there. So I asked everything, and she answered.
I won’t say this helped us get back together. Total honesty is supposed to do that. But, it was almost a relief to give some reality to my imagination which was running overtime. I think I already knew the answers to most of my questions, but there was something in there just asking the questions. It’s hard to explain.
I asked her if she had given him blowjobs. She said yes. I asked if he went down on her. Yes. Any good? Yes. Better than me? She paused and then asked if I really wanted to know. That pretty much answered that one. I asked if they did 69. Again, I already knew the answers, but I just had to vocally ask them, and I needed her to say it. She said they did 69. I then, of course, asked the size question. She paused and said it was about the same as mine. I pressed her for more details, and she said he was Asian, so it actually was maybe a little smaller if not the same. This whole time my heart was racing. I was on adrenalin high. I know she could see my breathing was short and fast.
I asked if they did it doggie style. Yes. Missionary? Yes. Her on top? Yes. Which did she like better from him? Doggie style. Why? She said because he liked that better. I asked if they had anal sex. She said no. I asked again about anal. She started to get a little mad, and said no. Don’t ask the same questions twice. Did he give you any orgasms? She said usually when he went down on her, but not through intercourse.
Then I asked if she swallowed. She said yes. This is one question where it turns I didn’t already know the answer. She would never swallow for me. She was a spitter. It never bothered me, and I never asked her to swallow. I asked her why she swallowed for him. She said she wanted it to be the best for him kind of like she wanted to impress him. I don’t know why, but I can get over her on her knees sucking his dick, on her back getting drilled, and her legs spread wide getting licked, but the thought of her swallowing for him really pissed me off. I kept it in check though since I wasn’t done with the questions.
Did you like the taste of his cum? I tried not to taste it. I just wanted to swallow it for him. Did he have a lot of cum? She paused for a couple of seconds. Yes, she answered. She knew a yes answer would entail another question. Did he cum more than me? Yeah, he did most of the time. Did you do anything weird or kinky with him? What do you mean she asked? Did you do anything you don’t do with me? No. Except, and I vividly remember the except, he liked to put pillows under my butt if he was going down on me or if he was taking me missionary style. Oh, and he liked my feet. What did he do with your feet? Nothing really. He would always be rubbing them and kissing them. Did he lick your feet or your toes? No. He just massaged them and told me I had cute feet.
I then asked her if he came inside her. She said yeah. No rubbers? No, she said, she was on birth control as I should know. Did he come on your tits? Yes. Did he ask you if he could? No, I just did it when I was going down on him. He was getting ready to cum, so I let him cum on my chest. The other time he put some lotion on my boobs and started fucking my boobs. I ended up having to use my hand on him, but he finished on my chest. That was another thing we had never done. That’s pretty much all of the questions I can remember asking. I know there was a bunch more, but those were the main ones.
So, he was better than me at oral sex. She liked to swallow for him and not me. He got to have sex with her tits. He produced more cum than me. She let him cum insider her. That’s what I got out of the whole conversation.
The therapist would always keep telling me to live my life as an example to her and the kids. Let her see you accepting of her and taking care of everything because she is clearly in a fog and isn’t thinking clearly. The therapist said that after the initial thrill is gone, she would come out of the fog and see things a little differently. The fog thing was something the therapist kept harping on. Sure enough the extramarital relationship ended. I still don’t know if it was amicable or not or who ended it, but it ended.
Now given all of what she did, given her seeing him almost every night of the week for two months straight, and her telling me it was over, I decided to stay with her and keep the family together. She quit her job as soon as she found a new one. That helped out a lot, at least for me it did. She always lets me know where she’s at or where she’s going even though I don’t ask her to tell me. That was the therapist’s idea. We started having sex again. She swallowed for me one time, and she has since gone back to spitting. I didn’t ask her to swallow, but I think she did it more for me to make me feel a little better about the past.
I don’t think I’ve ever completely forgiven, which is one of the biggies from therapy, and I know for sure I haven’t forgotten. There are times when I can vividly see my wife, the mother of my children, on her back with her legs spread over some Asian guy’s shoulders getting hammered. I can see my beautiful wife on her knees kneeling before him on his bed sucking his dick, and then swallowing his cum. Then it’s back to reality and back to life and working and paying the bills and admitting to myself what she, my therapist, and some Asian guy knows—that I am a cuckold.

*** Name withheld ***

*** Edited/Spellchecked/Title given by request ***

I caught my wife cheating less than two years ago. I called her to let her know I was getting off work a couple of hours early and if she could call in a pizza so we could have a late lunch/early dinner. I immediately suspected something, because I couldn’t reach her on the home phone. She had just called the office about an hour before supposedly from home to check on me. It was kind of strange but not completely out of the ordinary. I try not to make it a habit of not taking personal calls at work, but she knows she can call me anytime. Anyway, I reached her on her cell, and you could tell she was fumbling with an excuse about how she had to go out shopping, and she dropped the kids off her friend’s place so she could get some quiet.I raced home and beat her by about 15 minutes. She still had to pick up the kids. I could instantly tell something was up. She was acting kind of flighty and totally was overcompensating for everything. After dinner she washed some dishes and then kind of meandered to the bathroom. After a few minutes I heard the shower turn on. That was another thing out of the ordinary. She almost always showers first thing in the morning.

I walked into the bathroom and chatted with her about something at random. I don’t even know what. My heart was pounding. It was like an A-Bomb went off inside. My hands were literally shaking. Then I looked down and saw her black panties. She always wears regular cotton panties. These were a little on the lacy side, and closer being a thong than a panty. Another bomb went off inside my stomach, and I couldn’t move for a few seconds. Then I scooped up the panties and stuffed them in my pocket.

I went to the bedroom and fished out the panties. I could see slight discolorations of the black material in the crotch of the panties. My insides were burning as I lifted the panties to smell them. I couldn’t help myself. I think I already knew what had happened, but I just needed to confirm it. The smell was overwhelming. It was definitely the smell of sex. I couldn’t get over the fact my wife cheated on me, and I was holding her panties with another man’s cum all over them.

I was like a zombie for the next couple of hours until we got the kids to bed. She knew it was coming. I knew she realized she was busted. We went downstairs and had it out–threats of divorce, custody, separation, moving out, you name it. She actually ended up leaving for the night. She left her cell phone, so I couldn’t even talk to her. I spent the night holding her stained panties in a Ziploc bag (I imagined I might need the DNA samples for custody issues possibly and looking back I wasn’t thinking too clearly). Since I was the only one at home with the kids, I couldn’t leave. Even now it’s a reminder of a time of total helplessness.

We stayed together. We got marriage counseling. We saw our church pastor about a dozen times the first year after the affair. She continued on with the affair for about another month after I found out, and she got to the point where she stopped trying to hide it. She quit caring. The affair didn’t end well, and to further compound the shame, I was stuck with a wife who was grieving for her lost love and wasn’t helping out much in the relationship or family.

*** Submission edited & spell checked only ***